As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."  

    He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied,"Lord, first let me go and bury my father." Jesus said to him,"Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God."

    Still another said,"I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family." Jesus replied,"No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the service in the kingdom of God."

-Luke 9:57-62 (NIV)

In many ways, I struggle to answer the call that Jesus has put forth for his disciples. I thought it was a bit harsh for Jesus to require such commitment from the people following him.

It's against our natural instinct to give up things that matter to us.

Years ago, I thought that I would never be able to agree with what Jesus said in this passage. Back then, it seemed delusional. Christianity teaches morality, does it not? Surely family values are emphasized in this religion that I chose to believe in. 

But right now, after the many years of change that has taken place within me, by the grace of God of course, I've been convinced of what Jesus requires when we choose to follow him.

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Truly demands my soul, my life my all.

Hmm.. This is going to be a little boring, but I thought that it would be good to tell you what I learn in University..

Over here, first year of university for engineers is called Intermediate year. It's like a bridge bewteen high school and uni (more for the locals, since we go to college after high school). 

One of the purposes of the Intermediate is to make sure that people doing engineering are really ready for it. For those people who may be interested but are not sure whether engineering is right for them, Intermediate year is the time they find out. Of course, it is not a foolproof system, many people make it through Intermediate but still find engineering not being right for them. I guess in some ways Intermediate is made to be a little tough and a little challenging so that people can make informed choices about what they are really up to.

Statistics show that out of 700 people that do Intermediate year each year, only about 350 actually make it into engineering 2nd year. Engineering is a limited entry course, meaning that only a fixed number of students are allowed into each department of engineering every year. The guidelines that gurantee you a spot in 2nd year is a B- average and no failures (C- and below) for all required subjects.

So as to what we learn...

Maths - Of course, engineering has to do with a lot of maths, so it is a must for us to know the basics. We take 2 papers of calculus sort of maths, one in each semester. My opinion? Maths is not too bad, as long as you're willing to put in the effort, it would eventually turn out okay, as long as you have a good foundation. You'll have to work a lot harder if you've not been doing well since foundation / high school level though.

Physics - quite a bit of repetition if you've done some form of Pre-U physics. Weekly Labs are stressful though. Topics include mechanics, thermodynamics, optics, modern physics (quantum, relativity) etc etc.

Chemistry - very little to do with actual chemical reactions you can see. Lots to do with how fast this reaction is going to happen or how much product can you obtain from this reaction. As well as lots of calculations involving numbers numbers numbers.

Computation and modelling - Something new. Here is where we learn programming to solve our problems. We use a computer program called matlab to do our calculations - not any calculations though - it's calculations that we would take ages to be done by hand but seconds by the computer. Besides the computer, we also learn how to apply basic maths to solve complex problems - the backdoor method to obtaining answers.

Hmm.. There's still biology, mechanics and foundations of engineering. But i don't feel like explaining them. So till next time. I might just tell you what I'm currently learning right now...

It's true, the last week has been really tough... Massive amount of assignments to complete (which is fine, no problem with me) but no thanks to some "great" situation I am in, I screwed up badly in the past week.

Stress doesn't normally get to me that well. But when "THIS" situation arises, I just can't take it anymore! Argh.... It's particularly lonely, lonesome I suppose, when you lose touch with people (close friends especially) just because of this reason. I question this cause, I really do question  if this is what I am meant to do, because it is frustrating. But I believe that it would turn out for good, I really hope and pray that it would. So hard sometimes though...

Well, anyway. That's just life.

Tough times reminds you of the great times you had. Last Thursday, I decided to skip ICF for a break (quite sure I missed a great lesson on Daniel though). I thought about home all of a sudden. Hah. Thursday nights were usually pasar malam nights, the time when we would go to the night market to get some great food, have a relaxing stroll and just take some time off. You really don't appreciate all these things until you don't get them anymore.

And then just now, I was reading the archives on the pioneers blog. Haha. The memories! Good, good memories. Started of with the 3rd Kajang visit, check out the pics, great joke! =) And then to Pesta 06 and Cambodia. Of course, not forgetting all the lessons imparted and wise words shared, such a big chunk of really good things to be picked up. I found it really encouraging. Well, that's the good thing of being part of such a life-changing ministry. I think I really should have done better in keeping touch though. Hmm.. it is true, I am really bad at this and I should really try to improve on maintaining my friendships. Really bad.

Anyway, there were other things I've thought about as well. Of course, of course. Such things are left to the past.

It seems that this is just a normal part of life. Life is meant to be experienced to the full: both happiness and sadness. And when it comes, we just have to learn to cope with it, to face it and to move on (easier said than done of course). But to Him who holds my life in the palms of His hands, thank You for giving me the break I don't deserve this time round and the confidence that You are still in control!